Spring is Dead; Long Live Summer
Puck the Cat says summer is upon us. There’s no going back, only going through. How did he say this? Every stroke I gave from head to tail freed fourteen pounds of orange fur.
Climbing Up, Falling Down
I’m too old to be climbing trees, but I miss it. I remember grasping the next rough branch, then the next, and the next until I reached the top. I also remember grabbing the wrong limb, getting knocked out on the way down, and waking up, surrounded by concerned faces, in the middle of an …
Making multiple mistakes goes with territory
In movies set in the past, characters sometimes marvel at the wonders of “modern” ingenuity: “The new-fangled telephone will revolutionize our lives and guarantee more time to do what’s truly important.” “The miracle of plastic will save the world.” “With this cutting edge pill, people’s chronic pain will disappear without the thinnest threat of addiction.” …
Newspapers still feel good between fingers
We were at a show and started talking to the guy in front of us. The topic of newspapers came up. When people start talking about newspapers, they usually don’t have good things to say. I’ve taken checks from newspapers for most of my life, so I have an allergy against saying bad things about …
HGTV, lottery make powerful combination
You can’t make a TV show about people who like to sit around, read and watch TV. No one would watch because we wouldn’t be doing anything. The gray matter between our ears could be firing with all kinds of crazy ideas and commentary, but viewers expect action and conflict from TV. With most shows, …
Is KISS Army membership for life?
We went out to watch a play on a Friday night, and a teenage girl in the audience wore a KISS shirt. A thousand years ago, I’d owned the vinyl album the shirt advertised, and I’d listened on a cruddy record player that had been designed for “Old MacDonald” and “The Wheels on the Bus.” …
We efficiently messed up in kitchen
We were putting groceries away, which shouldn’t have been as frustrating as it was. You see, I’d filled the bottom rack of the dishwasher and all but one spot on the top rack. I was drinking from a glass and planned to put it in the dishwasher when I was done. That was simple enough …
A sandwich isn’t always just a sandwich
When I was growing up, there was a Schlotzsky’s restaurant on the way home from Mom’s work, so every so often she’d stop by and bring sandwiches home. I’ve moved around a bunch since then. Most places don’t have a franchise, so it’d been a while since I’d bitten into one. My son’s grandparents gave …
What if it was the last COVID wave?
Our local hospital put the word out on social media: There were no COVID-19 patients on any floor. It seemed like a big deal. Not that long ago, the place was overrun with the 21st century plague. The most recent viral wave had crested and receded, leaving wreckage in its wake but slipping away into …
We can complain as well as celebrate
The United States of America is not the country I would want it to be, and that’s probably a good thing. If this were Scott’s United States, there’d be some changes. For one, we’d have at least one water slide within a 30-minute drive of every American. If that means we have to build one …