The hole opened up, but I kept walking. The things that poked through never actually hurt, but… you know. I put them in the trashcan once but pulled them out again. Somehow, I’ve developed an emotional connection to my footwear.
I called Jay Bell, my good friend from “Bradenton-Fun—in-the-Sun-Baby, Florida,” to tell him the story of my lost hat. “You want hat stories?” he said. “I’ve got some good ones.” “I wanted to tell you mine,” I replied. “Hold on,” he said and launched into his first story. About a decade ago, Jay Bell got …
When I was mowing the grass as a kid and came across a beauty like this, I always ran over it, producing a satisfying spray of spores across the yard. These days, it’s more satisfying to leave it alone.
When we bought tickets, we had a kid going with us to “Minions: The Rise of Gru.” Technically, my daughter is a young adult, but she would’ve given my wife and me cover. I’d seen a preview of the movie. One of the minions tries to break a piece of wood with his head. He …
My penmanship is getting worse as I age. I hear the souls of my school teachers scream their anguish with every squiggle I write.
When I was a child — after the Jurassic period but not by much — we spent some summer days at my aunt and uncle’s lake cabin. We fished, swam and skied when we weren’t sitting around playing Canasta and telling family stories. One story I cherish is about the time Uncle Ben arrived at …
I get one microwavable Mac & Cheese a week. We usually buy it on Saturday or Sunday, and I eat it on Monday. So I spend a week anticipating my next Mac & Cheese. This is what my life has become.
When we have a six- or eight-pack of drinks, everyone else leaves the plastic holders on the cabinet top for me to cut. I make sure no birds get their necks caught and twisted in deadly circles. I’m a minor league superhero. morrisstories.com
I was walking into my in-laws’ house from the porch and trying not to trip over their dog, Misty. “Excuse me,” I said. My mother-in-law thought I was talking to her and said, “What?” “I was talking to the dog,” I said. After a few minutes, I was returning to the back porch, when I …
When I was going to college, Mom sent my sister to buy me a can opener at Albertson’s. She came back with one that cost the full $5 Mom had given her. “You didn’t need to get one that good,” Mom said. 2022 is my can opener’s 35th anniversary.
