You can’t make a TV show about people who like to sit around, read and watch TV. No one would watch because we wouldn’t be doing anything.
The gray matter between our ears could be firing with all kinds of crazy ideas and commentary, but viewers expect action and conflict from TV.
With most shows, we know everything will turn out fine in the end, but we need questions along the way.
Let’s consider HGTV, where men and women rehab homes for fun, profit and ratings. Right away, they’re interesting people because they’ve got the tools to destroy a 1970s avocado-colored kitchen in seconds with help from editing.
I like when the sledgehammers come out because there’s going to be serious damage done. Sometimes, I move around in my chair as if motions I make months or years after the show was taped could give people on screen more leverage against a Formica countertop.
I never go to the refrigerator until the commercial, but I need to be back in my chair on time because, before the commercial, the producers would’ve given us a tease.
We see a quick glimpse of our intrepid homeowners flummoxed by an unforeseen problem. The foundation could be cracked, a load-bearing wall might be in the way of the coveted open concept floor plan or the previous owners could’ve hidden termite damage that will cost more than China’s gross domestic product to fix.
Rarely, like the sighting of your next door neighbors at church, we return from a commercial break to find something wonderful has happened. Maybe the host announces that the rebuild will cost 38 percent less than budgeted so a pool gets added to the plan
Those homeowners are like lottery winners, but they’re not like the lottery winners on “My Lottery Dream Home.” Those people bought their tickets and claimed their prizes, and they’ve asked heavily tattooed David Bromstad to help them spend boatloads of cash on a new home or vacation getaway.
I have to be careful with “My Lottery Dream Home.” It’s enticing to see what nice chunks of cash can buy in different parts of the country.
Some of the homes are surprisingly economical, but I prefer it when the newly enriched go big in the course of going to their dream home. They say, “You know what? Let’s forget about the budget. You only live once.”
The problem with “My Lottery Dream Home” for me is it makes it seem like winning the lottery should be easier to do than it actually is.
I’ve played the lottery over the years and never won ridiculously glorious amounts. The family hit for about $200 several years ago. It changed that little beach vacation but not our lives.
After watching the show for a while, I get to thinking that if I could just hold my mouth right, I could hit it big by picking a few numbers or scratching off a ticket or two.
You don’t have to worry. Our policy has been to confine the lottery mostly to vacations. We always hope for a few million dollars to change our lives, but we’d settle for $200 to help cover the fried crab claw bill.
Of course, if we won stupid money from the lottery, we’d spend a lot of time watching TV and reading books. We’d also have a TV near the new pool because, if you win big money, you’ve sure got to spend big money.
